Trainer Evaluation

This past Saturday, I had my first meeting with a Personal Trainer at my gym. It was just the initial assessment, and it went exactly as I expected. My cholesterol's great, my blood pressure and heart rate are good, my BMI is way too high, and my flexibility sucks. All exactly as I predicted. Oh, except I've lost 3 lbs. No, not 3 real lbs, their scale is just 3 lbs under my home scale. I hadn't really lost anything - I had weighed myself at home before I went and I was steady with my previous weigh in. 

During our consultation, he tried to pin me down to measurable goals. I explained to him that I'm focused on increasing strength, balance and flexibility and not a particular weight. I explained to him that I wanted to lose about 40 more pounds, but I wasn't concerned if it took me a year or two years to do it in. All I am concerned with is making sure it's the last time I lose this "last" 40 lbs.  He still tried to pin me down to a specific amount of lbs in a specific period of time, but I'm not falling into that trap...for the same exact reason that I'm not making a new resolution. 

No New Resolution

The past few days have gone well food-wise for me. I've managed to avoid binging. There's still chocolate in my office...all 10 POUNDS of it, but every time it calls my name I've had a plan. 

I've noticed that my biggest binge time is actually AFTER a meal. I'm not hungry, but I still want to eat. After lunch is the worst. So, in order to combat the urge, I do what I did last Friday. I allow myself one small piece, and then put another small piece in a coffee cup and use it to make coffee. This allows me to consume the chocolate flavor slowly, and gives my stomach time to tell my brain it's no longer hungry. So far, this is working. I don't know how long it will work for, and I may need to eventually add more tools to my arsenal, but for right now, it's working, and I'm thankful for that. 

Well, another year has passed, and another year without making a new resolution. Typically, I would make some kind of diet or exercise resolution, but that's never worked for me before and as I now see my health as something I'm going to continue to have to work on for the rest of my life, I don't see the point in making a resolution. 

The idea of a new resolution has lost it's impact over time. Resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something. It comes with the connotation that if you break the resolution, then all is lost. For me, it's just not a realistic way to look at eating habits and exercise. I'm human. I'm going to make poor eating choices, and I'm going to have days where I'm too tired to workout.  When these days happen, I want to forgive myself, move on, and try again...the very next meal/day. I don't want to wait a year to make a new resolution. I'm in this for the long haul. 

Binge Control

Today my soul focus was on not binging at work. One of my binge triggers is chocolate, and there's a 10 POUND, yes, POUND bar in the kitchen at work. One of our consultants is from Hershey, PA and brought it with her when she was here last week for the holiday party. 

I did well in the morning. I had an egg mcmuffin and I think the protein helped me from having an oatmeal carb crash (my normal breakfast). 

When I started to get hungry around 10:30, I allowed myself one serving of tortilla chips and salsa, which was left over from yesterday's lunch. The salsa was so spicy hot, it staved off a binge episode. 

Around 12:30, I decided to try the Fresh market near my work and chose brown rice sushi and a small container of cucumber salad. This grocery was a good find as it will always have healthy options for when I don't bring my lunch to work. 

After the sushi (which was pretty flavorless, I should have went with the white rice), I wasn't satisfied. I was full, but not taste bud satisfied and the chocolate called to me. 

I got a glass of water (my 6th glass by this time), and tried to postpone the binge I could feel coming on. After the water, I still wanted the chocolate. I decided to pump (I'm still nursing my son) and listen to my Quit Binge Eating podcast. This postponed it for a little while, but I finally gave in to one piece of chocolate. 

As I was eating the one piece, I realized I was craving another...while I was still chewing the first piece!  I found myself grabbing another piece and I looked around the kitchen for a solution. I ate a tortilla chip to get the sweet taste out of my mouth, hoping that would help. Nope. Then I looked at the coffee pot. I decided to stick the piece of chocolate that was in my hand in a coffee cup, and poor coffee over top. This have me a little of the chocolate taste, and the time it took to drink the coffee was enough time to avoid a major binge. So, while I didn't have the control to not eat two pieces of chocolate, I did come up with a Now solution that made me stop the binge. 

Im happy I didn't binge. I'm going to try this technique next time and see if it works again!

Office Food

Yesterday was a bust. I'm so over Holiday office treats. The past week has been so full of chocolates, cookies, and candied popcorn from Vendors. I'm a sucker for assorted chocolates, or any chocolate for that matter, so it's been a very hard week. 

Yesterday, I tried really hard to resist the food table. I started with a high protein breakfast to make sure my hunger was manageable. It worked for the morning, but I got caught up in finishing a project that was due and soon it was almost 1:30...the time that the café closes. I went and got a salad, filling it with grilled chicken so the protein would tide me over for the rest of the day. When I got to my desk and took a bite of the salad, something was off. The chicken was bad!  By this time the café was closed, and I hadn't brought my lunch....AND I was starving. I decided to hit up the work food table, which had been picked over and all the healthy options were gone. :(  Once I started on the cookies and chocolates, I couldn't stop. :(

I'm so glad the Holiday season is almost over. Thank goodness we bought a treadmill and I've been able to run during this time. It's the only thing that has kept me from gaining weight over the past two weeks!

I do not fear the pain

I know for a lot of people, the discomfort of working out is a huge obstacle to getting healthy.  That's not the case for me.  I've always enjoyed the sore muscles.  For me, it's a sign that I pushed myself.  Now, I'm not talking about injury pain, I've been through that.  I mean sore muscle pain.  However, I've never extended this feeling to lung pain...until now.

I've always hated how my lungs burn after a run.  It was uncomfortable, and it's held me back from really pushing myself until recently.  I read an article on Runs For Cookies where she talks about running in the cold and burning lungs.  It got me thinking more about why they "burn", and not just when running in the cold, but anytime you push yourself.  It dawned on me that lungs are a muscle, and when you use those muscles more than you do normally, you are exercising that muscle.  The lung pain is just like any other muscle pain.  It's a sign that I pushed myself, and that I can be proud of!

On a side note, I'm also proud of my after run snack.  I'm such a cookie/carb addict and it's normally my go-to snack.  Yesterday though, I grabbed an apple instead!  And for that, I'm going to give myself a pat on the back.  :)

Something To Talk About

For years I never discussed weight and foods with my daughter. Well, at least not in any real context. We talked about healthy foods verses unhealthy foods and being able to identify them. Fruits and vegetables were healthy, bacon and salami were not healthy. That was the extent of our conversations. I also didn't use the word "fat" around her. I didn't want to perpetuate the body image issues that are so prevalent in our media.

My intentions were good. However, over the years, I've realized how little I, myself, knew about health. As I learned more, I realized that I would have had a much easier, healthier road if I were taught these things growing up. So, I changed my stance. I realized I needed to prepare her for a healthy life. So we began to talk. We talked about foods, calories as energy, micro (Vitamins) AND macro nutrients (protein vs carbohydrates). We talked about how each affects insulin levels and how insulin affects how you feel. We started talking about BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate - the caloric intake your body needs to function just to keep your heart, kidneys, liver, etc working properly...if you just laid in bed all day).  We even calculated her BMR. Then I taught her about TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure - the amount of calories needed to walk to the refrigerator, take a shower, play a game, read, ride her bike...basically anything other than just sleeping). Then we talked about how much energy (calories) were needed to do each activity. We talked about how heart rate rises and falls with each activity. I put on my heart rate monitor and showed her my heart rate as I laid down. Then I stood up and showed her how it raised a little because standing takes more energy than lying. Then I walked and showed her how it raised again, then ran and showed her how it raised more. Then I stopped, an she saw how it lowered as less energy was expended. We talked about heart rate and calories and how they were both measurements of energy expended. 

Lastly, I introduced her to choices. She now had her TDEE, and we talked about dividing them up over the day to give us energy when we'll need it. We talked about snacks and how they help keep your insulin levels from spiking. We also talked about how protein was a longer lasting fuel than carbohydrates, and would keep her insulin more leveled, but how carbohydrates were good quick burned fuel if she needed energy fast. So we talked about balance....the need for protein AND carbohydrates..AND EVEN fats (fat is essential for brain function).  I explained to her that living in a very wealthy country meant that she would have an abundance of options...and she would have to make choices from those options. 

We now put our lessons into our lives. When we go out to eat we talk about our days activity plan. Will it be a lazy movie day, or will we be going to the park to play?  How will we need to fuel that activity?  Once we have a targeted calorie range, we talk about what she wants to eat. When she wanted the chocolate chip pancakes, I said ok. How much of it can you have?  When she found out that half of the pancake would be her total breakfast calories, they didn't look as appealing. She wanted the whole pancake. I then reminded her that a pancake doesn't have any protein, and we could also take this as an opportunity to get in some fruits or vegetables.  The more we looked at the menu, I geared her towards the silver dollar pancakes. I told her I would split the order with her, and we could add fresh strawberries on top and add the turkey bacon.

We now continue to do this with most meals. With going out to eat, we try to incorporate one healthy with one treat. For example, if she gets the chicken tenders (she is still a kid!), then she gets a Caesar salad with it instead of the fries. If she really wants fries, then she can get them and have the tomato soup instead of the tenders. 

The important thing isn't which combination she chooses, or if she chooses right 100% of the time. The important part is that I'm providing her the tools she needs to live a healthy, long life. 

Mind over Matter

I have felt fat all week because I've been eating at my TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) of 2,000 calories instead of at the Weight Watcher's suggested Point value for me...averages to about 1,600 calories for this breast feeding momma. 

I've been reading about Eating More to Weigh Less to increase your metabolism and how it will help you get over a plateau, and no matter what I read, it's hard to get my brain to get past the mindset that I have to have myself in a serious calorie deprivation in order to lose weight (which is not sustainable long term). It's years of bad dieting advice that still affects my mood to this day...which is why I've felt fat all week. :(  Imagine my surprise when I finally stepped on the scale and had actually LOST weight!  

It's going to take time to get my mindset changed...and it makes me mad that, in this day and age, our understanding of health and metabolism is so off base.