Shut Up

Today was a shitty day. The baby was up every hour and a half to nurse last night, and then woke up for good at 5:30am. 

After I dropped the girl off at school, I went to the gym and lifted weights. When I went to put my headphones on to drown out the gym music, I couldn't hear my music on one side. I took the earbud out of my ear to inspect it, and saw that the rubber piece was missing. 

The boy slept at the gym child care, so there were no naps for me when we got home. I didn't have time to nap anyway, I needed to shower before going to my daughter's school to be the lunchroom monitor. On the way to school, the boy fell asleep again and slept through lunch. I was cranky and tired and the kids were more rambunctious than usual. I ended up yelling at them to shut up as they were lining up after recess. They gasped in surprise and I felt like shit. I've felt bad about it for the rest of the day. 

When we got home, I made lunch and then played with the boy a bit. By this time I was exhausted out if my mind. I tried to nurse the boy and put him down for another nap, but he wouldn't suck and then proceeded to cry for 2 hours!

I took him downstairs to play some more since he wouldn't sleep, and decided to try pumping. No wonder he wouldn't nurse, I was barely producing anything!  I think the lack of water, mixed with running, and the Sudafed I took yesterday for my allergies has dried my milk up some. I pumped for 20 minutes to stimulate production and drank a lot of water. 

I finally got the baby to nap, and had just fallen asleep when the girl child came home. Then it was time to make dinner. 

I made rack of lamb with a mint sauce, mushroom risotto, and sautéed vegetables. 

It was so good!  The family seemed like they liked it, but didn't seem grateful enough for the amount of time and effort I put into it. :-(  I think I've just been feeling very under appreciated lately. I need a vacation. Badly. Or...to go back to work. Sometimes I think I'm a better mom when I work. 

I ended up going over my calories by 800 calories today. 800!  I was tired, and when I couldn't get the baby to sleep, I was very stressed and tired and binged. I ate my stress. :-(  I feel like shit. I feel like shit for yelling at kids, I feel like shit because I over ate, and I feel like shit because I don't think my family is very appreciative. Overall, it was a bad, bad day. 

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Have you ever yelled at someone else's kids?